You didn’t just give birth to a baby; you gave birth to a little person, who already has a personality and who already wants to have a relationship with you! In order to best love, support, and parent your baby, you need to get to know and understand this new person in your life. You need to learn about his or her behavior, communication, wants and needs, and when to be concerned. You need to learn how to help your baby learn, grow, and develop. You need to know what your baby needs from you right now in order to be healthy not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
Our goal is to help you build a foundation for your child to grow into a strong, secure, adult who enjoys lifelong well-being.
The Fourth Trimester
Some have called the first three months of your baby’s life the fourth trimester. (The term is now used for moms as well). It highlights the fact that this is a time of tremendous change and adjustment for your baby. In fact, many of the common parenting challenges, such as fussiness, colic, etc. happen in the first three months and often go away on their own as the baby adjusts to life outside the womb.
There are ways to help your baby learn, grow, and adapt during this time. There are also ways to help with fussiness and other early parenting challenges.
Parenting your baby
Newborns may seem to mostly eat, sleep, pee and poop, but there is a lot going on! Your baby is adjusting to life outside the womb, living in air, having to breathe and eat, having to stay warm, having to digest food and poop, not feeling cocooned and surrounded anymore. She has a lot to get used to, and it’s hard work. Thankfully, she has you. You may not always feel like it, but you are what your baby wants and exactly what she needs, and you are the perfect parent for your child. You and your baby were put together for a reason, and you are each a gift to each other.
This is a bonding time, a time to get to know your baby and establish a relationship with her. Your baby already recognizes your voice, so talk to her a lot in a soothing voice. Your goal is to develop a nurturing relationship with her, one where she feels secure. You are building trust with her. Lots of holding, cuddling, skin to skin contact, looking into each other’s eyes, and talking to her will build those bonds of trust and will help build her brain too, which is going crazy with new connections and pathways. This is also an adjusting time, for everyone!
The latest research in child development shows that developing the traits in life that lead to health and happiness starts at an early age. These traits include resilience (the ability to deal with life’s challenges in a positive way), interdependence, and self-control. One of the main factors for successful development is the child having secure, nurturing relationships, and that starts now!
Temperament
Every baby is unique and has a distinct personality right from the start. Some babies are calm and quiet, others jumpy, others fussy. Some like to be held and some don’t. Some prefer to be bundled and some hate it. Some prefer stimulation and others prefer just to sleep. Some adapt easily to change and others take time to adjust. Some can sleep through anything and others wake up easily to any sound. It will take time for you to get to know your baby and to understand his needs. It is just part of the wonderful adventure of parenting, of getting to know this new and special person.
Understanding your baby’s temperament and personality can help you understand what your baby is trying to communicate and what she needs. It can make things less stressful for your baby and your entire family, and make it easier to bring your baby into the routines and rhythms your family already has.
Baby cues & communication
One of the biggest parenting challenges at first is trying to figure out what your baby is trying to communicate. It may seem that the only way your baby can communicate is by crying. The problem is, crying is not very specific. Babies cry if they are cold or if they are hot. Well, which is it?! It can get frustrating as a parent. While it is true that crying is normal and babies do use it to communicate, it sometimes is a late sign and they are trying to communicate in other ways as well, even as a newborn!
Babies cycle through a series of activities, zones or periods throughout each day.
Awake and interested
Babies will have times where they are just awake, calm, and looking around. Your baby may want to see or hear you and may want to interact with you. This is a good time to talk to your baby, smile, show them a book with pictures, or sing to them. For newborns, these times are not that long or frequent; your baby will soon be spending more time in this zone.
Ready to sleep
Babies will often signal that they are getting sleepy and ready for a nap or bed. Your baby may even yawn. They may start to close their eyes, act drowsy, and appear less interested in what is going on around you. It is best to lay your baby down while sleepy but not yet asleep.
Light sleep
During light sleep, your baby may move around, make noise, make sucking sounds, and wake up easily if there is a sound or something bumps or shakes the bed. You should learn what this stage sounds like and see if your baby moves on to deep sleep again before responding.Your baby is not awake during this stage.
Deep sleep
During deep sleep, your baby will be very still and make little sound. She will appear very relaxed and not move around very much. Loud sounds may startle your baby without waking her up.
Feed me!
Your baby will show signs she is ready to eat, usually before she starts to cry. She may wiggle around and seem a little antsy or anxious. She may smack her lips, suck her fingers or lips, or act like she is looking for something. Eventually, she will usually cry.
Overstimulated or overtired
It is best to try to avoid this stage, but it will happen sometimes. Your baby will become too tired without having a chance to fall asleep, or there will be too much noise or attention or playing. Whatever the case, your baby may turn red, start crying or screaming, wave her arms and legs in a jerking fashion and may avoid eye contact with you.